It’s been raining/drizzling since, what, yesterday night?

Such nice weather to zzz .. but a joker residing one floor below me just had to spoil everything by drilling holes (for god knows what reason!).

So .. before, I charge down to him/her with a chopper in hand, a few jokes to lower down my rage level.

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Teacher: Where’s your homework?
Girl: Um… (looks to boyfriend for help)
Boy: It was my fault. Sorry.
Girl: (whispers) What are you doing?
(he smiled & winked at her)
Teacher: What?
Boy: It was my fault.
Teacher: How so?
Boy: I walked her to school today
& offered to carry her books.
Teacher: So where’s her homework?
Boy: I dropped it.
Teacher: Why?
Boy: I dropped it when I was beating up a guy for saying you weren’t the best teacher ever. (everyone laughs & teacher smiles)
Teacher: I’ll give you one more day to get it finished.

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A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours?
SON: At school*Robot slaps Son*
SON: OK,I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story*Robot slaps son again*
SON: OK, it was Day with a Porn Star.
DAD: WHAT? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was!*Robot slaps Dad*
MOM: HAHA! After all he’s your son.*Robot slaps mom*

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Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind, it’s too long.
Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nevermind, you won’t get it.

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